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"Is it better not to be a human and be happier? What are we made for?"


This week, I went to another state for an event and an important performance. I've been living in California for a long time, and going to the central part of the country required adapting to a different climate and fitting into their way of life. During the performance, I, who easily gets nervous, tried my best to create a lively atmosphere. However, the audience seemed a bit distant and only stared at me with their eyes, unlike the enthusiastic and energetic people in California.

At that moment, memories of my family back home surfaced. I remember that before I left for another country, my mom gave me a stern look and said, "Don't think going abroad makes you special; all our relatives are waiting to see you fail." I couldn't control my emotions, and I ended up having a really terrible performance. After coming off the stage, I immediately broke down in tears, thinking, "Was I born just for people to scrutinize? Is it better to not be myself and be happier?"

On the way back home, I heard a sermon from the Book of Matthew, Chapter 10. As I was listening, I fell asleep. I think this was God's best way of comforting me...


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